Earth to Dave! (E2D!)

Musings from a warped mind…

About “Dave”


So who is this “Dave” guy anyway, and why “Earth to Dave!”?

If you knew Dave, you wouldn’t even ASK the second question. But perhaps you don’t.

Let’s start from the beginning. Dave was born the son of gypsies who traveled the Midwest, town to town, selling snake oil and trinkets to unwary townsfolk. As a young boy, Dave unwittingly began his own career. The gypsies would use Dave as their freak show. He’d be placed in a cage and encouraged to “entertain” the town’s young folk. He had a rough start.

“Mommy, make that boy STOP! He’s scaring me!”

“Stop it you wierd, wierd boy! You’re scaring my daughter!”

Initially, he did not understand their response, but soon realized that the people were masking their secret ENJOYMENT of his wierdness. This just encouraged him along in his wacky pursuits.

By the time he was an adult, Dave had invented the squirting flower, whoopie cushion, itching powder, the “fake fly in the ice cube” and the “&” symbol, which he tried to copyright. (The copyright was never approved. Maybe it was the itching powder in the application envelope?) Dave never made a dime from any of these inventions, but the world was a better place for all of them. Instead, he considered his payment the (few) laughs that they produced, & the fact that anytime someone wanted to type “and”, they could now do it in a single keystroke, like I just did.

Dave wandered the western mountain ranges, the plains of the midwest, the colonial towns of the east and the Amish country of the northeast, before finding himself in Western Canada. It was there he finally found his keys. Oh, and a WIFE. Apparently he found her on an “off day”, as she agreed to get “hitched” and move to California…the place they oughta be, so they gathered up their stuff and moved to “Bev-er-leee.” Hills, that is. Black Gold. Movie Stars.

Dave’s gal must have let her guard down a couple times, as they have two beautiful children who we will call “Scooter” and, uh, “Daughter”. Dave’s friends would always say “Thank goodness they look like their MOTHER!” Dave got even with those friends (he put Ex-Lax in their coco.)

Now Dave resides in Georgia with his lovely wife of 20 years (she MUST be crazy!) and two chillen (southern talk for “kids”). Dave enjoys chasing butterflies, giving luge lessons and flying airplanes (??) These all have one thing in common: Dave likes to do them. Anyway, he is active in his church, waterskis and runs a non-profit ministry called “On Wings of Eagles Foundation”. (Click the link on the right side of the page to find out more). He also continues to enjoy making people laugh. Most of the time it happens when people SEE him. That’s about all it takes. Other times he has to try harder.

Like this website. Take it easy on Dave. He’s had a rough life. And keep the kids a safe distance away.

Thanks for dropping by. Stay awhile and make sure you chime in. Just make it FUNNY. Dave likes FUNNY.

P.S. Try to use the “&” symbol alot when you post comments. Dave now gets royalties. Thanks!

& & & & & & (cha-ching!)