I know what you’re thinking.

Dave must have died.  There are cobwebs on this site.

The truth of the matter is that I am not dead.  And those cobwebs? Those are on your monitor.  (You really should think about cleaning that thing.  There is peanut butter on the “S” and “;” keys and some dried soup under that space bar thingie).

Actually, I have a good reason why I’ve been, well, “gone”.

It’s this guy:

See, back in the day, I kinda thought he was creepy.  I know, I know, clowns are supposed to be “FUN”.  But the truth of the matter is, they’re SCARY.

So there, I was, minding my own business, not bothering anyone, being interviewed for Newsdave, when all of a sudden “Ronald” (if that’s his real name) just plopped down beside me.  What do you do when a scary clown just plops down next to you?

I guess my facial expression says it all.

So it’s been two years of therapy and I’m starting to come around.  Clowns are still SCARY but my therapist “Phillip” helped me realize that “inside every clown is a Holly Hobby trying to get out”.

Yes, that’s right, “Holly Hobby”.

Can you think of anything less threatening?  I mean look…she doesn’t even show her face.  That’s definitely non-threatening.  Now I’ve had people tell me that what is under that Holly Hobby hood isn’t pretty, but I like to live in ignorance.  Plus I bet she doesn’t have clown makeup on.  (Everyone knows they couldn’t afford clown makeup in the prarie days.  Duh.)

So here I am.  Back in action.  Ready to take on the world.  I even drove by a McDonalds the other day without breaking out into a cold sweat.

So buckle up, hang on and prepare for more.  “More what??!” you might ask.

It doesn’t matter.  It’s just “more” so pipe down.  (Sorry, the therapist has been working on my being more assertive.  It’s a weird byproduct of the clown therapy.   So like I said, sit down and shut up.  Wow, I really feel better!)

Thanks for stopping by.  Now pull forward to window 2.  Your Happy Meal (sans clown toy) is ready.